Updated on October 12, 2017
Updated on October 12, 2017
It seems like such a simple thing to say. A simple thing to believe.
And yet, somehow there are times that the things you once fiercely believed, things that seemed easy enough to live by – are just not so simple anymore.
You feel like you’re losing control.
How could this happen? How can I be pregnant?
You may be a mother of four who had decided she was finished having kids. You may be a young woman who is in love with her boyfriend but not ready for marriage. You may be just a girl – who has been raped. You might even be a happily married woman who thought she was ready to start a family, and now you’re not so sure.
Circumstances can change a lot about how a woman feels. And even in the best of situations, pregnancy can be terrifying.
Why should I go through all of this if I’m not ready? What is going to happen to my body? How much is this going to hurt? How can I possibly have a baby right now?
What if most of the fears – well what if what they really boil down to – is the fear of the unknown? Heap on top of these typical worries a pile of hormones, coupled with bouts of uncontrollable nausea, and you’ve got a recipe for extreme emotional distress.
There’s the fear that your body is doing something against your will. It is building tissue and creating a place that nourishes a tiny human being – and all without your consent.
It’s my body. I control what happens to it.
If you think about it, your body does a lot of things without your direction. You breathe. You digest. You ovulate. You dream. Involuntarily. It may not be ‘fair’, but it’s none-the-less amazing. Can you take control of these things? Sometimes. But pregnancy is different. For there is now more than your body.
There’s the fear that the people around you will be disappointed, and maybe even disgusted when they find out. They might reject you.
How can I face anyone ever again?
You may find that when your reputation is at stake, you are suddenly very willing to hide – actually – to do almost anything to put things back to the way they were. The way people expect. Yet you need to know that reputation is not the same as character. People don’t love reputations. People love people. And if they don’t, it says more about them than it does about you. You can’t control how people will treat you. There’s that loss of control again. The unknown.
And so, all of these fears, all of this loss of control – how can you get it back?
Dear one, you never really had control. It never really left. It was never really there. It just… felt like it was there.
You will never have complete control of your circumstances. Yet you can always exhibit amazing self-control. You can choose to see this child through to his first breath even though you can’t control how it will happen. Deep down, you are braver than you know. You have 9 months (give or take) ahead of you that are going to be uncomfortable. It’s not that long when you consider that it will give a child the chance at an entire lifetime. This baby has no control either. She did not will herself into being. She doesn’t want to hurt you. She needs you.
There may have been times when life seemed so horrible – so dark – that you felt like it would never change. But then, it did. You grew. You made it. It was worth it. I guarantee there were times when your own mother wasn’t so sure she could do this. But, thank God she did. Because you were worth it.
Life isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it. Believe it. Live it.